WEEK 05 | Wisdom I’ve Found in Waiting
Dear Impatience,
I used to let you rule and dictate every area of my life. I had my sights set on the wrong things and never had learned what it meant to wait. The world moves at a rapid speed, with the headlines daily changing, our social media feeds updating every second. Why, but of course you’d tempt us to behave in the same manner. Always more, always do, lying and having us believe that constant activity means achievement.
But I have found so much peace comes from waiting. Hasty decisions, rushing into things doesn’t always bode well. When I surrendered my will to Jesus, He invited me on a journey which would require much patience and much trust. I’m nearing 5 years of celebrating my life redeemed in Christ, and I’d say of the highest virtues He’s worked into my being it would be patience. We are not patient by nature. You know that, being the counter opponent to patience itself. I’ll admit, I haven’t been perfect throughout the process. There’s been many an impatient moment, where you and I meet again and I fall into the trap of taking matters into my own hands. But you see, you’re the enemy. You’re the chanter saying, “If you don’t do this now, you’ll never have it.” There’s been times I’m already so far into the decision that I feel I must keep going because I couldn’t possibly retract now. And I’ve moved forward, even still. When I recognize that you, Impatience, have slipped in and deviated the plan. Thankfully, my Shepherd has the power to override you at a moment’s notice. I think that He allows me to keep walking in my own way for a time, just so that the lesson that I will learn because of my going ahead of Him and His plan for me, will sink that much more in.
It’s never without prayer that I move forward, but I have to wonder, do I make the decision in my heart first and then commit it to prayer? I'll then ask Him to bless the move I’m determined to make regardless if the Lord says, “No or go.” Do I pray the prayer and once I say “Amen” proceed to act right away before truly waiting on the answer? I'll admit I've found there is also wisdom in acting quick and sometimes we are the answer to our own prayers. I once heard it preached that when a gift of faith comes upon you, act quickly. It requires immediate action. Anointing dissipates with hesitation. It takes quick, rapid obedience. This is true, and there’s times where there’s a clear opportunity I cannot miss and if I do, I’ve missed the call. However, that quick action usually comes after an extended period of waiting, pondering, praying such as David in the sheep fields after his anointing to be king and having to wait many years to actually become king.
Have I learned enough to differentiate those calls to actions vs those times to wait on the Lord and let patience have its way? Often times I can recognize the Holy Spirit moving in power vs me moving in my own methodical, human reasoning way. And I've found it usually boils down to timing. I can see and praise God for how He’s brought something to pass because I find myself crediting and relishing in His timing. For example, an email left unanswered for a few days, I become impatient because I want the answer now. I can either choose to a) Go about filling my calendar with something else, giving up on that email entirely because it didn't fit my timeline. The problem with that solution is what if I fill my calendar and then get the response the next day and have to decline the offer because I didn't trust God’s timing. Or b) incessantly reach out to the email recipient in hopes to hear the reply I want to hear sooner. I’ve found both have traces of you, Impatience, riddled into them. The most effective thing I can choose to do in most cases is commit what I’m waiting on to prayer and leave the timing of the response in God’s hands. He’s faithful and when I choose this way, His way, I’m always floored by the outcome. What I've found is between the initial email and the response back a few days later, so much has transpired and the answer makes that much more sense. Within the silence, within the wait, things have happened in my days and the answer is all the more glorious because it fits like a puzzle piece right into the framework of that precise moment.
When I’m planning big changes or working with a deadline, it’s evident when I need to hit pause and give it all to the Lord. If I feel a pressure or the timing is off for a number of different reasons - schedules aren’t lining up, dates are overlapping, when I evaluate the situation I can see where I’ve gotten myself in over my head, and I have to admit, I’ve more than likely gone ahead of God. I imagine I’ve gotten myself into speed walk mode when He’s merely strolling and I look back over my shoulder and realize He’s stopped a few feet back and is patiently waiting for me to run back and get in step with Him once more. On the contrary, there have been plenty of times where I’ve been trudging along, dragging my feet, but that’s from a different root cause. Never have I ever dragged my feet due to impatience. It’s another enemy that’s struck, such as Fear, Doubt, or Laziness. In those times, Jesus is faithful to also come alongside and help me pick up the pace.
All in all, as you walk with God you begin to realize the rhythm He operates in. I’m telling you all of this Impatience so you can know you have no power over me. You may lead me on ahead a few steps, but my God never lets me wander too far. He’ll use whatever it takes - a restlessness in my spirit, a friend or mentor with sound advice to pause or step back, or clear obvious signs to slow down and be patient once more. I’ve never regretted waiting. I’ve always seen the blessings of waiting on the Lord. He rewards our patience. He rewards our trusting Him for all things. We need never worry that we won’t have the thing He promised us because we aren’t making snappy decisions. If it’s yours, it’s yours. Whether a spouse, a home, a child, a job, and countless other things, if He’s reserved that perfect one for you, there's a perfect time He wants to give it to you. Don't be the child who searching the house for the gift before Christmas morning and ruin the surprise. I promise you’ll never regret choosing patience over "pronto".
Sincerely,
An impatient girl made patient in Him
PS. Here are two verses I cling to when the going gets tough, and you feel as if you can't wait any longer.